n I work to release emotions, pain, and stress from my body, I often experience a physical reaction. This reaction surprised me because it feels similar to when I believe someone is gaslighting me or trying to silence me. I asked myself, “Am I gaslighting myself by saying I have no right to feel this way and should just get over it?”
Releasing emotions can be challenging
As I just mentioned we feel gaslit and resistant to letting go. But why is that? I’ve realized that by agreeing to let go of my pain, trauma, and stress, I am choosing not to dwell in those wounds anymore. This also means I can no longer use those wounds to stay in my current situation. Essentially, I will be awakened to what I need to do to move forward and feel the need to take action. I cannot continue to wear my pain as a badge and remind others of what has happened to me.
So, why do we hold on to such things? Honestly, most people are not aware they do this – I think it is part of a protective pattern. I decided to explore this idea more deeply. If the fear of gaslighting ourselves leads to silencing our voices, we end up triggering the same feelings we experienced while our trauma, pain, or stress was taking place. That is not something we want to feel again. We feel compelled to speak about it because it was painful, and we desperately want others to understand what we’ve gone through.
Essentially, we begin to feel we are telling ourselves that we are not important, that what we experienced is not valid. If you are working yourself through any pain or trauma, give yourself space and time to do so. There is no set time for healing.
Challenge Yourself
While you are working to heal, I challenge you to check in with yourself often – it is what I do with myself and it keeps me from stagnation. Periods of stillness are healthy, but stagnation can lead to illness. Whenever I feel I am gaslighting myself, I check in by asking these questions:
- What am I feeling here?
- Is there something more I need to understand?
- Is there something more I need to learn?
- So, why do I sit and hold on to this emotional trigger?
If there is a No to all of my questions, then I know it’s time to be in a space where I let myself feel the emotion that comes with the trigger, understand it, and release it. The important word is release. We are human, we are going to feel. Feel the emotion, understand it, then work to release it.
Many of us get stuck in a feeling. Then when we experience that trigger again, we find ourselves in a not-so-fun cycle. Our triggers will pop up constantly, but you may find that, with work and healing, your reaction is shorter and not as strong.
Before I began doing this exercise with myself, I would hold on to the emotion from the trigger and I would dwell on it for days. I would relive the event that created the pain and then I would be upset and depressed all over again. It didn’t stop there – I would even begin to look for it in other people’s actions and words. As you can see, it ruled my life.
This is why I ask myself those questions above. Ultimately, I thought I was telling myself I could no longer feel this way, be upset over it, or be triggered. Thus, gaslighting. But, that is false.
Speak Affirmations
So, what are you telling yourself when it’s time to let go? Speak these affirmations:
- I am not silencing you, self. I love you.
- I have the right to be free from a continuous cycle of pain.
- I have a right to experience this emotion and let it go.
- I have a right to understand that nothing is personal.
- I have a right to become empowered.
- I am valid without the validation of others.
- I have a right to be Free.
Empowering ourselves is no easy feat because it means facing and challenging everything we’ve learned in our tribe – I’ve lived this life for a while and I can tell you it is worth it.
Need help releasing from your cycles? Try Shamanic Healing Sessions and/or Psychic Art Readings.
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